Narrative

       "And after four quarters the game is tied 21 to 21. Westerville North has the ball at Kilbourne 20 and have been marching going down the field for possibly the last drive of the game. With only 5 seconds on the clock this could be the last play of the game." exclaims the announcer with enthusiasm.

       The quarterback calls out the cadence, practically screaming it so the entire offense could hear. I stare him in his eyes placed 15 feet from the ball. We both gave each other the same look. It was the look a Lion gives a Crocodile when a dead carcass is placed just on the edge of the river. The lion and the crocodile know and understand each others strengths but still believe that they are superior to the other.

"SET HIKE" the quarterback yells.

      As a safety I take my read steps backward carefully understanding the situation around me. I glance at the quarterbacks eyes he's eyeing down his favorite receiver, this was a costly mistake. I turn my hips and sprint at an angle such that I can place my self in the area where the ball landing. I was right the ball gets thrown by the quarterback and it's in perfect rotation. Then suddenly everything seems to slow down to the point where seconds feel like minutes. In the background I can hear the noise from the crowd.

     They are screaming my favorite chant. "I believe that we will win. I believe that we will win."

      I look over at my mom who is up of her seat and I know if she could tell me something at this moment it would be." Cedric you can do this I know of you can. " It's a typical mother line but for some reason it helps ease the anxiety that comes with the game. Suddenly the I look up and the ball is only just out of my grasp. I look at the receiver who is a inch or two in front of me but is not too great of a distance that I can't catch him. I decide to go for it and snatched the ball out of the air before the wide receiver can even get his hands near. So I stop running, turn my hips and bend my knees and elevate into the air. I'm almost there my hands are so close. The ball comes and just slips over my fingers past me and into the receivers hands.

     The crowd with almost a harmonic sound scream "NOOOOOO."

      "HUH " gasping for air I awake from what can only be described as an anxiety filled nightmare. The nightmare only make me second guess my self as I prepare for school." Am I not ready to play my first high school football game? " I ask myself.

      As I arrive at school my stomach begins to sink and I can feel myself about to throw up. I race to the nearest bathroom, throw my book bag by the sink as I enter the stall. I get on my knees an almost like clock work I feel the vomit depart from my mouth. After about 15 mins of vomiting and gagging I finally leave the stall. As I get ready to leave the restroom Mr. Vincent one of the teachers at the school walks in.

"Hey bud big game you ready. " he says as he places his on my shoulder.

"Yes of course sir." I say seeming unsure of myself.

"Alright give em hell and remember to have fun out there. If your nervous you'll play nervous and we don't want that now do we? He says with a smile that made the rest of his face seem so small I have comparison to his mouth.

"No sir" I said with even more uncertainty than before.

"Alright then see you second period then." he says as he was procedure the second stall.

       I walk toward my first class with so much anxiety and fear on my shoulders. I feel as if someone has place a bench bad on my shoulders and with each minute leading up to the game it gets heavier. I'm so focused on the the game my classes seem to  drift by so fast before I know it school is over and it's time for the biggest night of my life.

      So I walk into the locker room place my things on the ground and just think. Contemplating on even getting dressed . My mind is racing and all I can think about is backing out, but how can I leave when my team and my coach's are all counting on me . I can't just walk out on the people who are counting on me because on my fears of making a mistake. Also I've loved this game since I was four years old yet now it seemed as if the sheer idea of playing was making me queasy.

"Gentleman 20 minutes until the bus leaves and that's with or without you so get a move on. " screams my coach.

        His words are coherent but my body is in a paralyzed state. I just can't seem to make the fear go away. So I do what usually calms me down and I listen to some music. As I play my music, in hopes that it will dissolve the fear from my mind, I receive a text from one of my friends that reads "I thought you might like this because I know how nervous you must be for your first. Hey good luck and have fun."

      The text he had sent had a quote that completely resolved my problem. The quote said " Do what you fear and fear disappears." - David Joseph Schwartz.
I finally understood that it wasn't about vanquishing fear it was about taking my fear head on .The entire day I was afraid of the consequences of failure, but  I finally realized that if I didn't play the game I would never relinquish that fear. So I get dressed and head for the bus and in my head I know that fear is not something a strong man lives with out it is some a strong man conquers.